Wildcat 83,Spring 2009, p.2
Advertisement for the Waldorf-Astoria
by Langston Hughes
Fine living…à la carte??
Come to the Waldorf-Astoria!LISTEN, HUNGRY ONES!Look! See what Vanity Fair says about thenew Waldorf-Astoria:Now, won’t that be charming when the last flop-house
“All the luxuries of private home….”has turned you down this winter?“It is far beyond anything hitherto attempted in the hotel
Furthermore:world….” It cost twenty-eight million dollars. The fa-So when you’ve got no place else to go, homeless and hungry
mous Oscar Tschirky is in charge of banqueting.
Alexandre Gastaud is chef. It will be a distinguished
background for society.ones, choose the Waldorf as a background for your rags–
(Or do you still consider the subway after midnight good
enough?)ROOMERSTake a room at the new Waldorf, you down-and-outers–sleepers in charity’s flop-houses where God pulls aThey serve swell board at the Waldorf-Astoria. Look at this menu, will you:
long face, and you have to pray to get a bed.GUMBO CREOLE
CRABMEAT IN CASSOLETTE
BOILED BRISKET OF BEEF
SMALL ONIONS IN CREAM
WATERCRESS SALAD
PEACH MELBAHave luncheon there this afternoon, all you jobless.
Why not?Dine with some of the men and women who got rich off ofyour labor, who clip coupons with clean white fingers(Or haven’t you had enough yet of the soup-lines and the bit-
because your hands dug coal, drilled stone, sewed gar-
ments, poured steel to let other people draw dividends
and live easy.ter bread of charity?)Walk through Peacock Alley tonight before dinner, and getwarm, anyway. You’ve got nothing else to do.EVICTED FAMILIESAll you families put out in the street:Apartments in the Towers are only $10,000 a year.(Three rooms and two baths.) Move in there untilWho cares about money with a wife and kids homeless, and
times get good, and you can do better. $10,000 and $1.00
are about the same to you, aren’t they?
nobody in the family working? Wouldn’t a duplex
high above the street be grand, with a view of the rich-
est city in the world at your nose?“A lease, if you prefer, or an arrangement terminable at will.”
NEGROESOh, Lawd, I done forgot Harlem!
Say, you colored folks, hungry a long time in 135th Street–they got swell music at the Waldorf-Astoria. It sure is a(A thousand nigger section-hands keep the roadbeds smooth,
mighty nice place to shake hips in, too. There’s dancing
after supper in a big warm room. It’s cold as hell
on Lenox Avenue. All you’ve had all day is a cup of
coffee. Your pawnshop overcoat’s a ragged banner on
your hungry frame. You know, downtown folks are just
crazy about Paul Robeson! Maybe they’ll like you, too,
black mob from Harlem. Drop in at the Waldorf this
afternoon for tea. Stay to dinner. Give Park Avenue a
lot of darkie color–free for nothing! Ask the Junior
Leaguers to sing a spiritual for you. They probably
know ‘em better than you do–and their lips won’t be
so chapped with cold after they step out of their closed
cars in the undercover driveways.Hallelujah! Undercover driveways!
Ma soul’s a witness for de Waldorf-Astoria!so investments in railroads pay ladies with diamond(And a million niggers bend their backs on rubber planta-
necklaces staring at Sert murals.)Thank God A-mighty!tions, for rich behinds to ride on thick tires to the(And here we stand, shivering in the cold, in Harlem.)
Theatre Guild tonight.)Ma soul’s a witness!Glory be to God–
De Waldorf-Astoria’s open!EVERYBODYSo get proud and rare back; everybody! The new Waldorf-Astoria’sopen!(Special siding for private cars from the railroad yards.)You ain’t been there yet?(A thousand miles of carpet and a million bathrooms.)What’s the matter?You haven’t seen the ads in the papers? Didn’t you get a card?Don’t you know they specialize in American cooking?Jesus, ain’t you tired yet?
Ankle on down to 49th Street at Park Avenue. Get up
off that subway bench tonight with the evening POST
for cover! Come on out o’ that flop-house! Stop shivering
your guts out all day on street corners under the El.CHRISTMAS CARDHail Mary, Mother of God!the new Christ child of the Revolution’s about to be(Kick hard, red baby, in the bitter womb of the mob.)
born.
Somebody, put an ad in Vanity Fair quick!
Call Oscar of the Waldorf–for Christ’s sake!!It’s almost Christmas, and that little girl–turned whoreListen, Mary, Mother of God, wrap your new born babe in
because her belly was too hungry to stand it anymore–
wants a nice clean bed for the Immaculate Conception.the red flag of Revolution: the Waldorf-Astoria’s the
best manager we’ve got. For reservations: Telephone EL.
5-3000.